Bringing SEXY Back!

by Claire Minnaar

I am possibly one of the last people who should be talking about this. I’m the first one to crack a joke about a dildo or vibrator, but when it comes to being and feeling sexy – it’s like a different language!

I know many women who feel the same way I do and I also know women who feel completely different to me – they love themselves for who and what they are, they feel sexy (regardless of what other people think) and they are just the goddess I could only dream of being inside!

I decided that, in 2011, I would find that goddess in me that has been seriously lacking since giving birth to an almost 4kg baby and having picked up a whopping 30KGS, which I am still trying to lose after 2 years! I want to start feeling like a woman again – not just Ethan’s Mom and Ryan’s wife.

I want to feel beautiful, whether I am or not.

Running a wedding directory has its perks and we get to deal with lingerie companies on a regular basis, so we get to see what the latest trends are and definitely get to see some smoking hot booty with the male models – oooh la la! Seeing the stuff now available and all this lingerie that I SO KNOW my husband will drool over, I felt it was time to get creative and see if I can share my ideas with other Moms who may be in the same boat as me!

So, here’s to the start of bringing sexy back, ladies…

The Basics

  1. Believe that YOU’RE A REAL WOMAN…a beautiful one at that! I don’t care what you look like, what size you are, what colour you are, where you are from, what you do or what you think – you are a special lady, a special MOM and a WOMAN who deserves to feel beautiful and sexy! Believe it – if you don’t believe it, you can’t live it!
  2. Shut it up…the little voice in your head, that is! That voice that tells you that you aren’t good enough or so-and-so is so beautiful or you aren’t x, y or z! Ignore it and shut it up – it’s really not doing ANY good for you or anyone else for that matter – I don’t want any interfering in my Sexy Mommy tips from that voice either!
  3. Know yourself and your body – I know lots of women who do not like a mirror. The mirror isn’t a particular friend of mine, to be quite honest, but more often than not, it is able to provide us with a bit of insight about ourselves and not always how bad we look in a particular pair of pants or that we have a large piece of spinach stuck between our front teeth.Use this mirror to your advantage and spot the areas you like about yourself – this really sounds cheesy, I know – just do it! Write it down on a small notebook and keep it in your handbag for those days that you are really low. These features are YOU – they belong to you alone and no one can take them away from you – think about that one! How precious is that? 🙂
  4. Find confidence in yourself and let it grow – Confidence is key to being sexy! If you’re confident, you can do anything because you pretty much know you can do anything. If you don’t have much confidence, then start looking for it – you deserve it and you do have it somewhere. NO ONE is going to give confidence to you – you are the only one who can find it, so check out the tips below, which will help you get on track to finding that sexy Mamma in you.

My “Getting Sexy Back” Ideas

  • Do a Boudoir Shoot – I would NEVER in a million years have ever considered myself a woman confident enough to do a boudoir shoot. In December last year, I went to the doctor for a check-up and was told that I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and Endometriosis and probably wouldn’t be able to have a child very easily again. I was devastated. I had been told the day before that my Mom had cancer as well. In addition, there was a lot of pressure to get work deadlines complete before closing for the festive season. After having to deal with too much in too little time, I decided I wanted to do something that would help me find my way to feeling beautiful. I am not photogenic at all, but I did it. I was a nervous wreck a lot of the time but, by the end of the shoot, I was enjoying it and this little bit of confidence I never had before just appeared.Many women don’t see the purpose of doing such a shoot. Having done one, I do. Other than having a husband grinning like the Cheshire cat, I felt beautiful. My makeup and hair was done 4 times. The lady who did the shoot, was amazing – she made me feel very comfortable and she constantly gave me compliments – and it was genuine. I came home feeling good. My husband, Ryan, always tells me that it’s not so much about how a woman looks, it’s how they feel and act i.e. CONFIDENCE is SOOO important and can be so much more attractive than being what Hollywood would call beautiful.
  • Toss out the old underwear – yes, it’s time. Wearing beautiful underwear can make you feel sexy, attractive or just plain good, so get the old, holey underwear out of those drawers and into the bin NOW! Then, schedule at least 2 hours to go underwear shopping. I suggest you visit stores selling pretty and cute (and sexy) ladies underwear:
    • Woolworths
    • Edgars
    • Truworths
    • La Senza
    • Etc
  • Organise a pamper party, a night out, a pole party (something with your lady friends) – this isn’t very difficult to do and quite frankly, getting the girls together on a night / afternoon off can be great fun and good for the morale. Make sure to keep some notes handy to buy some accessories. You can check out’s Hen Parties category for some ideas and services available.
  • Treat yourself to some TLC treatments or visit a spa – have a massage, mani and pedi, facial and whatever else you fancy. This can do a world of good for you – mentally, physically and even emotionally. (Views Health Spas or Beauty Salons you can visit)
  • Get shopping – lingerie is available everywhere and you don’t need to go to the dodgy stores on the main roads anymore to find some really nice stuff that you and your partner can appreciate. So, go see what you can find to take home and surprise your hubby with. (See the South Africa Lingerie category for some ideas)
  • Be naughty or do something naughty – this is up to you. You know how far you will go with being naughty and how naughty you will actually be. Preferably do something naughty that drives your partner mad e.g. make some fun remarks, give him a quick snog before you leave in the morning and say “to be continued later with a very serious, but mysterious look…”, leave a sexy note for him that he will find on the way to work, etc. This not only leaves your partner excited and curious, it gets those inner naughty fun feelings going inside – now, really – could this not only be a good thing?
  • Have fun and let go – if you’re having fun, there really can’t be anything wrong. Go with it, let go and be sexy. If you have to fake it, FAKE IT and keep FAKING IT until you feel it. It takes 21 days to create a habit, so do “SEXY” for 21 days or however long it takes to get you in your “SEXY MAMMA” state – you can do it!

I hope this post is of some value to you and helps you in some way. Sharing your problems and your life for everyone to read isn’t the easiest thing in the world, but if I can help one Mom out there find some confidence or even just get some new undies, my job is complete!

Good luck, Moms! Have fun!

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Amelia February 16, 2011 - 11:53 am

You look GORGEOUS! That’s definitely not a tired mama in THAT pic!

Lulu @ SA Child February 17, 2011 - 8:57 am

You are awesome Claire!!! Thanks for sharing ♥

Mama Sal February 17, 2011 - 7:37 pm

STUNNING PIC… you wild woman! Sexy…
inspirational thanks for sharing.

nikki August 3, 2011 - 11:28 am

I do passion parties and it’s really fun. if you’d like to host one for a friend, hen party or just for fun,please contact me.

sugnet March 6, 2012 - 1:31 pm

You just made my day! i feel so crappy about how i look and i can’t loose (second baby almost 2) the baby fat because im not allowed to exercise! (due to a neck injury…) but now i feel like there is hope! And YOU ARE BEAUTIFULL doll!!!!!!

Suzette October 25, 2012 - 10:38 am

Stunning pic! Thank you for sharing, there is a lot of us out there that needed this talk!! Now to live by it!

Monica Dart Photography October 29, 2012 - 9:08 pm

Great article Claire…love your ‘cards on the table’ openness. It’s so refreshing. A boudoir shoot is definitely one of the most liberating and exciting experiences which every woman should consider doing.

Tess November 3, 2012 - 5:50 pm

I’ve never heard of a boudoir shoot but wow you look fantastic C! And I just loved this article as I’m sure many mothers can relate! Very inspiring. Thanks C xxx


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