That Little Thing Called “Failure”

So many of us fear failure and, as a result, land up procrastinating and not doing the thing(s) we want most to do because we fear we won’t do it well enough, we won’t be good enough, we won’t succeed the way we want to, we won’t be able to make it happen, we are worried about what people will think or say and / or we may land up feeling rejected.

I’ve been sitting in this boat for a while and it’s not really something I talk about to others because it’s pretty much in my head and I can’t always explain why I fear failing in certain things.

Some things I do quite happily and honestly couldn’t really care less if I fail or not when I do them. My typical response to “failing” or getting something wrong in a standard or average everyday activity is to just try again or assume it wasn’t for me – simple. But, when it comes to something I feel strong or passionate about and involves me “putting myself out there” or “taking a risk” (not financially specifically), I manage to every single week find a way to put it off by finding something “more important” to do. Or, I ask other people’s opinions and if there’s any hint of negativity, I use that to put what I want to do off a little longer.

I am not one to air my thoughts and feelings online. I am, in fact, a rather private person. I’m a blogger who typically hides away from other bloggers and influencers out there as 1) I am quite a shy person – particularly with people I don’t know and 2) I worry about what they think of me and my blog. I think, in all the time I have had my blog, I have attended one networking invite and I have received 100s over the last 7+ years! Sound crazy? Maybe. Maybe not. But, it’s just the way it has been, and it’s been…well…comfortable.

I’m a week away from a big birthday milestone (40^th to be exact) and if you follow my blog, you will know I had a Cancer scare last year. These 2 facts have been a wake-up call for me. I’ve questioned where I am today, where I want to be and what I want to do. And, I know I am not anywhere close to it and the main reason for it is because I’m ignoring thoughts and desires I want to do for fear of failure, being rejected, people not agreeing with my way of thinking or doing things. But, being comfortable is easy and being uncomfortable can make us feel alive because we have to keep going and continue working towards that comfy stage again. We really can be our own worst enemy.

Today, I encourage you to ask yourself whether there is something you are really wanting to achieve or do in your life that you are afraid of doing because of the fear of failing or fear of rejection.

If you have answered YES, then check out my previous blog on Giving Fear of Failure the Boot for steps on how to work towards getting over the fear of failure and moving forward. I’m, ironically, going to be taking my own advice from that blog and be starting to follow through with the things I have been putting off for the last few months, if not years. It’s time. No more procrastinating. No more worrying about what people will say or think. At the end of the day, I don’t want to have any regrets when I am older and, let’s be honest – if we don’t at least try, we will never know if we could have succeeded.

And, in the event we do fail, in 99% of the cases, other people really don’t care. Other people may have their opinions, sure, but within a few days, weeks or months, your so-called failure will be forgotten. And, what has come out from failing in certain areas, I have learned what I want and don’t want, I have met amazing people, I have new experiences to share one day with my kids/grandkids and, you know what, I have survived to try again or try something new.

I was speaking to one of my closest friends, Nicole, last week about all of this. And, one of the things she said really stood out for me. Although what she said was obvious, perhaps hearing it from someone else made all the difference. She said “Stop worrying about trying to impress and be someone you not. Be the person you are. Not everyone will like or love you and that’s OK. But, don’t let the fear of what other people think affect your choices. And, don’t give people what you think they want when it isn’t who you are. Be who you are and who your family and friends know and love you to be.”. That hit home for me, so, my first steps have begun….

MomTalk.co.za is the facelift of what was, once, Momtrepreneur. As the name suggests, it’s going to be about talking and sharing with fellow Moms like you. I have always spoken about connecting with other Moms for so long but have been afraid and gotten stopped by a variety of things.

Launching MomTalk.co.za is the first step in facing my fear of failure – fears I know and feel deeply but may not be scary to you at all. Together, with help and support from my friends who may be in the background or be seen now and again in future posts, I will be taking a step forward every week to do the things that scare me shitless. I will be reaching out and be speaking to someone new every week/month, posting & sharing more and getting closer to the goal I have wanted for so long and that is to make a difference in some small way to others.

I hope you will join me in my endeavor and if I fail in some way, you not laugh, but encourage. And, I hope that perhaps you too can identify the things you really want to do in your life, your business, your home, etc and have been putting off and start working towards kicking those fears in the butt and making the change(s) happen.

If there is something you want to do or achieve or have, I would love to hear from you. Email me if you want encouragement, advice or want to connect in some way – I would love to connect!

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